Disgruntled Graduate

I remember the day I let go of my son's hand so he could walk for the first time. He was eleven months old. Thinking he might fall, slip, or bust a lip was nerve-racking. But instead, I let go so he could cross the copious bedroom floor. And still, I peeked and stood suppressed around the corner to ensure he did not fall.

My son graduated from various universities with intelligence, security, cyber studies, and analytic credentials. He is older now and has larger hands, but I still use the same practices I used when he was younger. 

Parents, avoid a disgruntled college graduate who resents a pre-set parental path by letting go of fear before your young adult walks across the collegiate stage.  Walking independently is to learning, as decision-making is to confidence. Both are growth factors that build a social code between child and parent.  It's based on mutual respect.  Throughout the sprouting moments of my son's relationship with me, I always encouraged him to go forward, even during the darkest times of life. And when he fell, I did not make haste to rescue him but fell with him.  Even staying in the moment of pain if necessary. I also chose not to conform to his cuckoo decisions. Instead, I confirmed his good or bad choices with antidotes. And when there were times to hold on, I let go. When there were times to let go, I guided from a distance when there was an opportunity to direct.  And when it was time for college?   I never told him what to study, only why to study.

Letting go and trusting my son to choose a collegiate field independently was hard initially. But he and I learned to trust each other. In fact, as I look back, trust allowed for a solid relationship and a life in collegiate work. As we both became older, we learned that all life experiences (even the bad ones) build character so that we can make better or different choices the next time.

So, I do not have a disgruntled graduate who majored in something he does not own. Instead, I have a confident young man ready to take HIS next steps.  But with peaking eyes and observing parents just around the corner.