Disgruntled Graduate

I remember the day I let go of my son's hand so he could walk for the first time. He was eleven months old. Thinking he might fall, slip, or bust a lip was nerve-racking. But instead, I let go so he could cross the copious bedroom floor. And still, I peeked and stood suppressed around the corner to ensure he did not fall. My son graduated from several universities with degrees in intelligence, security, cyber studies, and analytics. He may be older with bigger hands, but my love and support for him remain just as strong as when he was little!

Parents, avoid a disgruntled college graduate who resents a pre-set parental path by letting go of fear before your young adult walks across the collegiate stage.  Trusting them to walk independently fosters confidence and wisdom. Both are growth factors that help build a social code between a child and a parent.  It's based on mutual respect.  Throughout the early stages of my son's relationship with me, I always encouraged him to move forward, even during the darkest times of his life. And when he fell, I did not make haste to rescue him but fell with him.  Even staying in the moment of pain if necessary. I also chose not to conform to his cuckoo decisions. Instead, I confirmed his good or bad choices with my own anecdotes.

And when there were times to hold on, I let go. When there was a time to let go, I guided from a distance; when there was an opportunity to direct, I did.  And when it was time for college?   I never told him what to study, only why to study.

Letting go and trusting my son to choose a college major independently was hard at first. But balancing guidance with freedom strengthened our relationship. In fact, as I look back, trust allowed for a solid relationship and a life in collegiate work. As we both got older, we learned that all life experiences (even the bad ones) build character, so we can make better or different choices the next time.

So, I do not have a disgruntled graduate who majored in something he does not own. Instead, I have a confident man ready to take HIS next steps. 

But with peaking eyes and observing parents just around the corner.