Dia de los Muertos

When was your first experience with death? 

Witnessing my Grandfather's passing at a large inner-city hospital was my first encounter with death. The building was colorless, cold, and comatose, just like my Grandfather's body on the gurney. I was a tenderfoot, overwhelmed with emotion. However, understanding feelings like sadness, confusion, fear, and loss was too complex. So I watched the adults around me erupt in a broader range of emotions, witnessing verbal outbursts, breakdowns, and even anger. It made no sense to me; I did not understand death.  

But how could I? Consoling family members did not explain these things, and after the funeral mass, no one ever talked about it again.  The death of my Grandfather seemed to slide away into the busy lives of the family.  I wondered and became angry, for I had lost my hero, my protector, my Grandpa.   

Many years later, I read an interesting article about death.  The writer pointed out that "So much focus is spent on preparing for birth, on rearing children, and on planning our lives – it was time to plan for our conclusion, our death."  

I would add that we must remember our loved ones who have died.

My Grandfather's death was not something I would allow to fade away. Instead, I honored him by listening to family members share stories from his past. I encouraged my uncle and aunt to remember his habits and the quotes he shared. The celebration of his customs emerged and, with time, led to his name being used regularly in family conversations. It was almost as if he were still with me.  Embracing his death allowed me to heal and look deeper into the person who was my Grandfather. It offered memories, mentoring, and moments of love between family members.

Keeping Grandpa's memory alive is important to me to this day.  That is why every year around November 1, we celebrate All Saints Day and All Souls Day with his picture.  Most Latin cultures call it Día de Los Muertos. My Grandfather's bravery and courage, as well as his willingness to step outside the monetary norm while tending to his family in the early 20th century, are heroic.  I learned this later in life through the celebration of his death.  You see, if there is no one left in the living world to remember you, you quietly disappear.  But those living can uphold the dead by remembering, celebrating, and praying with their names.

In glimpses of the dead, we see those long gone, but in pictures and stories, we have immortalized them forever. 

Death is hard to understand. Let’s not forget loved ones who are no longer with us. Write their names in the comments below, and I will take them to my prayer on November 1.

For now, watch a stunning photoshoot in Lafayette called "Día de los Muertos."