Sports & Family Life
At some point, we all look back and see where we could have made better choices. My story shows how my priorities shaped my family, and why it matters for parents to set the right ones for their kids. If your children play competitive sports, I’ve learned that finding a balance between family values and outside commitments is key to shaping your family’s future.
My two oldest kids tried lots of sports—baseball, kickball, BMX, and mountain biking—but soccer was their niche. When they were 9 and 11, they made Division One Select State soccer, which was a big deal in the late 90s. As they moved up, we felt proud and got swept up in the excitement of winning. Soccer started to take over our lives: practices, special coaching, tournaments, travel, eating out, and hotel stays became our routine. With all this, our family’s values shifted, even showing up in how we talked: 'No fear, let’s get out there and prey together.'
We stopped spending time together as a family and slowly drifted away from our faith and from each other. Some weekends, my son and I would be at a tournament in one city while my wife and daughter were in another. This went on for years. Attending Mass was now an option; we didn’t make faith a priority. We started to notice negative changes, especially in our attitudes. One turning point happened at a tournament. After I publicly criticized my son in the lobby of a grand hotel for a game-loss mistake on the field, an old man whom I had never met approached me. He looked directly into my eyes and said, 'Remember, your role as a parent is to guide with love and support. Winning isn't everything.' His words cut through my defensiveness and made me realize I had lost sight of what really mattered. That conversation helped us change direction. We made different choices, and things got better. I’m sharing this to remind you how much a parent’s choices matter.
Looking back, I see that the way we lived wasn’t healthy in many ways. I’m grateful my kids appreciate the changes we made as a family. Now, my oldest children have their own families—my youngest and I like to travel—but I make sure our foundation is strong by putting faith and unity first. My main point is this: as parents, our choices have a big impact on our families. I encourage every parent to think about the foundation they’re building at home and to include faith.
For more on this subject, please reach out to me with comments or concerns.
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